New Year didn't turn out at all as I wanted! If I was writing a book, I would want this new year to start it with me

screaming in 2012 with an orgasm! But instead my kids woke me up 11.56 and I ran outside with my fireworks and got them all going. Also succeeded with burning my lounge chair by being unsafe with the fireworks so I was a great "what not to do" role model.. I did get to kiss my kids at midnight so that was great but we went quickly back to bed after. 

Earlier, my ex husband had called me to let me know that his body 'broke down' as he said. He's an alcoholic and he asked me to come get our son since he wanted to go to ER. He promised to stop drinking, his body ...

I am sooooo excited about 2012. This is going to be MY year and I have never felt so determent to change my life around as now. Normally one day goes into the other, same stuff happens, I take one day at a time and carry a "it is what it is" philosophy. Now it's different! I am going to get to my goals!

Today though, still the 31st, I work till 5 pm and after that I am going to buy cat litter, some good food, rent a movie and blow some fireworks with my daughter who became a blonde yesterday. She is very beautiful... It's probably time to lock her up and protect her from all the 'evil' boys!

My site (this one) will be published tomorrow and I need to really start opening up and take pictures and post. ...

8:12 pm.....finally almost over!

I had a great, cozy time with my children yesterday. My dogs woke me up 4:45 am and since I couldn't fall back asleep I started cleaning. Then I lit candles all over the house and started playing some old Swedish Christmas music on my old CD player. I decorated the presents under the tree, but only 2 of them where from me... See, when I left work the other night and opened the door to my car, I saw that it was full of gifts for my children. It was also a letter there with $40.00 in it for me. My colleague had written so much beautiful things. He is a good friend, (and yes I know he likes me...) but this was beyond beautiful. I had saved as much money as I could for my kids Christmas gift ever ...

10 years after trying to write a book, I am finally putting my life out there. Somewhat anonymous to protect my family but I am still putting my thoughts, honest feelings and secrets on a public social media network. Scary...

Like nothing else in my life, I am going to take this slow...